London Checklist







Dubya's London Checklist

©2001 Rebecca Ann Salcedo





Stuff I wanna do on my trip to London:

Greet the Queenie with “Wuuuuuzzzzzzzuuuuup!”

Share cute stories with the Queenie about our kiddies gettin' into trouble.

Ask the guards outside Buckingham Palace, “Where’s the Beef?”

Go to Piccadilly Circus and get publicity photo of me feeding the elephants.

Yell back to any protesters, “BITE ME YOU DANG LEFT-WING, COMMIE, EURO-TRASH, ENVIRO-NUTS!”

Tell Tony Blair that if he supports my missile defense plan I’ll let him use it to put them dang potato-eatin', bomb-throwin', IRA nuts in their place.

Go for a ride on that big red bus.

Meet Big Ben and ask, “How big is ya?”

Tell all folks I meet about my plan for world domination.

Go pigeon huntin' in Trafalgar Square with my lucky shotgun. Bang, Bang!

Write on the walls of all men’s rooms, “For a good time, call Tom Daschle!”

Go to Stonehendge and make a blood sacrifice to The Grand High Lord of Darkness, His Evilness, Beelzebub



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